An Open Letter to the Mom Who Failed Today

To the Mom Who Failed Today:

I hear you. Today wasn’t my day either. I yelled too much, dropped one too many “f bombs” although only a few in front of the children. I cried. I lost my temper. My kids cried. We had McDonalds for dinner and I let them watch entirely too much TV. I bought donuts for breakfast, hoping it would make up for my mid-morning meltdown. We didn’t read any books and we didn’t laugh nearly enough. I folded laundry when I knew I should be playing. I put my kids in timeout, yes, even my 22 month old spent time in his crib- I was the one who really needed the time out. My 3 year old got his fingers caught in a bedroom door that I slammed-of course I didn’t intend for his tiny fingers to be there, but they were and I’m certain I’ll never forgive myself even though he was fine. 

You, see, I “failed” today too and I’d be willing to bet there are a bunch of other moms who also failed.

I probably won’t forget today, but my kids will, and yours will too. It isn’t about the days we fail. With kids, the highs are high and the lows are so low. But, it isn’t about the lows. It’s not about the mistakes, it’s not about crappy days or the moments we curl up and cry.

Motherhood is about picking up and going at it again.

It is the one job, that we tirelessly do over and over again. On days where we want to quit, we don’t. We continue on and push through, day in and day out. 

We are given a glimpse into motherhood from the very start.

Our bodies experience such immense pain during childbirth and right from the start many of us utter the phrase “I can’t do this.” But we do. We want to quit; we want the pain to end. But right when you feel as if you can’t take another moment, your baby is born. Within seconds we go from feeling an insurmountable amount of pain to feeling a joy, love, and elation unlike anything we’ve felt before. It is pretty bad ass. 

Enough with the focus on failures.

Can we all just agree to fail once in a while and admit that we are still pretty freaking amazing humans? This pressure to be perfect and this pressure to always get it right is just insane. It is okay to fail. It is okay to have bad days as long as you pick yourself up and live and breathe for those moments after the pain, after the failure. Those moments when you feel as if your heart will burst with all of the unexplainable love you feel for your child. The moments of snuggles right before they drift off to dreamland, the moments when they make you laugh by getting the word pinecone confused with raccoon, telling you they brought you home a raccoon from their nature walk. 

We weren’t made to be perfect.

We were made to fail, dust off, learn something and move on. So, from one mama who royally failed today, to another, go hug your kids. Snuggle them and breathe out the failures. Enjoy that McDonalds and let them watch all the TV. 

Some days I am killing this motherhood thing.

We eat organics and read a ton of books. We laugh, play and at the end of the day I feel like Carol-freaking-Brady. Other days, I rock more of a Roseann Connor style-I curse, cry, yell, and barely make it through the day.

But, in the end, my kids are my world & I’m fairly certain they know it.

They know they are loved and they know what true, raw emotions look like. I’m doing everything I can to show my kids that it is okay to mess up. I want to be an example for them. I want to show them that it is okay to have off days as long as you self-reflect. We have to teach our kids how to be kind, not only to others but to ourselves. 

So, to the mom who failed today, yell, scream, curse, and do whatever you have to do to make it through your day.

Then, breathe, let go, and love those babies with every ounce of your soul. Motherhood was not meant to be easy, but damn-it is SO worth it. 

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