Things that do not Make You a Bad Mom

Exhausted mom with kids

Each and every night as I put my kids to bed I can’t help but think of the things I could have done better. Then, every day I wake up and promise myself that I will be a better mother than I was the day before.  I consistently obsess over everything mom related, when in reality all that matters is that my kids were loved. I love my tiny humans more than words can say and if there is one thing I am 100% certain of, despite the craziness, I know for a fact that I have expressed that love to them.

Sometimes, that is all you need to do. Forget about all of the checklists, to do lists, and what everyone else is doing. We are all going to screw up in some way or another. That doesn’t make you a bad mom, it just makes you human. Let go of the guilt and remember that you’re still a good mom.

You’re still a good mom if…

  • You’re not sure what happened in the three seconds that your kid asked you for oatmeal and it was put in front of him, ensuing an epic meltdown because he in fact did NOT want the oatmeal he requested. Good moms don’t have to be mind readers too.
  • You’ve skipped bath night 3 nights in a row for no other reason than simple because you just can’t bring yourself to complete the exhausting and physical task of bathing tiny human beings.
  • You pulled the soccer shirt from the bottom of the laundry, gave it a good sniff, and threw it on the tiny human as you rush out the door to practice. Smelly clothes might ruin your career in dry cleaning, but you can still hold onto that “Good Mom” card.
  • You’ve pulled the “Santa card…” in July.

One word. Benadryl. Yup, I hear you mama and yes, you’re still a good mom. Sleep is sacred.

On a more serious note, you’re still a good mom if you’ve cried in front of your kids and not because you are sad, but because you are frustrated or because of a parenting related situation. Those heat of the moment “I love you but I’m so mad at you, angry, confused, upset, frustrated, guilty, all in one” tears.

If you’ve done that, that emotionally confusing cry right there in front of your kids, you are still a good mom.

You are also still a good mom if…

  • You served crackers for dinner. Just crackers, right from the bag, no plates necessary.
  • Your kid knows where “the wine store” is. In fact, I think this makes you not just a “good mom” but an excellent one!
  • You have lost your cool. This hits close to home because I expect perfection from myself and when I lose my cool, I.feel.AWFUL. But the truth is, we have all been there at one point or another-we are human and losing our cool is part of the journey.
  • You’ve used the Target employee as a threat. You know what I’m talking about the “That worker over there said if you don’t calm down the police will come.” Anyone? No just me? Well it works and I highly suggest this tactic.
  • You’ve laughed when you’re supposed to be disciplining your kids. We are all trying our best not to raise assholes, but sometimes those little jerks are freaking hilarious. amiright or amiright?
  • You’ve febreezed your kid’s jeans, while he is still wearing them, because you’re late for work, and he spilled milk on them. Just saying.
  • You’ve told your kids that the obnoxiously annoying toy with more sounds than an emergency vehicle fleet “needs new batteries,” knowing perfectly well that you have a fresh stack of AA’s in the closet. No one as the time or patience to listen to all that ruckus.
  • You’ve eaten the last pack of fruit snacks, the last donut, or any of the last good snacks. This one is simple and you’re lying if you say you’ve never done it. Let go of that guilt mama and enjoy the damn snack.
  • You’ve claimed you needed to use the bathroom just to take a mommy time out while you sit on the toilet. Sorry to my hubby, but yes, I’ve done this, on more than one occasion.

It is easy to get lost in the whirlwind of motherhood. Somedays you’re killing it and somedays you want to crawl back in bed.

Just remember that

The little bumps in the road causing us to choose the McDonalds drive-through over the organic home-cooked meal are not the things that will make or break your kids. You can be a good mom and be a hot mess-you’re allowed to be both. Find peace in the chaos, love with all your heart, and know that you are doing a beautiful job handling the most difficult task on the planet. You are a good mom.

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