One More Breath, One More Step

Woman jogging through a field

Right now, I’m tucked away in a make shift office, chowing down on junk food. My phone is no where in sight and I’m pretty happily secluded. I feel crummy and I’m not exactly sure why-I guess it could be my fabulous nutrition, as I’m slaying my Raspberry Pop Tart… Who knows? But one there is one thing I’m certain of. I desperately need to go for a run.

Have you ever heard of the runner’s high? It is a real thing. There is something about sneakers meeting pavement over and over again that cures an itchy soul. There is something magical about shutting the world out and making your lungs burn. I find that I crave a long run in the same way an addict craves their drug of choice. It is no exaggeration when I say I am experiencing physical symptoms from my recent lack of running-runner’s withdrawal.

I ran my first half marathon in November of 2019.

I loved every painful second of my training. Never once did I say, or even think, I don’t want to run today. Instead, I found myself forcing rest days. My mind and body shifted from consciously thinking about going for a run, to subconsciously needing a run, and consciously having to convince myself of the benefits of rest. Training for this half marathon changed me in so many ways. It is incredible how the act of physically pushing and training my body to run 13.1 miles exercised my mind and spirit.

Over the past week, my husband traveled for work, hormones were all up in the air, the weather was rainy, and life just sucked. I cried just to cry and was quite possibly more irritable than I’ve ever been. I truly thought something was wrong with me, despite my friends and co-workers reassuring me that what I was feeling was normal. When I tell you it was an awful week, I mean it was exhaustingly sucky on a whole new level of suckiness. What made it worse was that I couldn’t even figure out why I was feeling so miserable. My kids were reasonably well behaved, everyone was healthy-physically, work was pretty low key and I was actually really accomplished professionally.

Still…. I. Was. Miserable.

The fact is that sometimes life can be downright hard. I know, a lot of people will roll their eyes at that statement and the truth is no, my life isn’t that hard, in fact I am endlessly, ridiculously, blessed. But, that sure as hell doesn’t mean that I don’t have bad days (or weeks…see above). We can all focus on counting our blessings and looking at the bright side, staying positive, and all that happy jazz, but the reality of it is that sometimes we just feel bad, for no rhyme or reason. It’s when these moments strike that it is so important to have an outlet, something that feeds your soul. I like to get lost in book and I clearly love to write. Both of these outlets help me clear my mind, but there is nothing quite like the feeling of a good, long exhausting run to get my head right.

So, when life throws you those curveballs, or you’re feeling out of place, make sure you have that outlet. Your tiny people need you to be okay. They need their mama and they need to know that even when you’re feeling funky they can count on you. Turn to a hobby, exercise, meditation, whatever it may be and know that you’ve got this. We’ve all got this, one day at a time, one breath at a time. And as always, when all else fails, wine and a bubble bath should to the trick!

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